I was raised in a house where the mantra of "its o.k. to have nice things" stood only as tall as the distance it took to fall to the floor, while an aunt of mine would oblige herself in reminding us to take care of the things that we had, lest we loose them. (Just for clarification, my parents charged us to take care of our things but they were anything but obsessive and for this I am grateful) I heartily appreciate this interesting contrast because I think the paradox in practice is at least useful.
So the story goes like this... Captain Nat and his beautiful wife, Shirley agreed to take a trip with Emily and I to Mt. Hermon. Emily and I went to pick the car up in Tel Aviv where we would eventually return the thing. After a wonderful end-o-semester trip, we made our way back to the Airport rental-return dock, not before a Shirley-planned Tel Aviv outing. A plan that included: a walk through old Jappa, drinks on the beach, and pizza in downtown Tel Aviv. The night was beautiful; the evening meaningful, and good. Once we arrived at Ben Gurion, I went to grab my bag so that I could exchanged the right papers to the Budget rental receptionist and my bag was gone.
Gulp. Question marks. What had I done? I knew that I had gotten into it before our walk into Old Jappa, I knew I had hid it in the trunk. And now, what? I felt guilty and dirty, violated and stupid, irresponsible and weak. My stomach churned and twisted inside of me and I knew of nothing better to do than to affirm true things. "Its going to be o.k." "God is Soverign."
I suppose outside the experience itself it seems a bit brutish to sound affirmations like this especially if someone does it for you; but I found that even in the shadows of a really-not-that-terrible-but-still-bad-thing, I was completely dependent. I mean, everything I had there of any value disappeared and I had to pay the bill? The monies I had set aside to pay the tab, my debit card, my licence and my passport. And its one thing to loose these kind of things- my things, my mp3 player and my maps; quite another to loose other people's things; say, for instance, a camera I was borrowing.
I can hear your tisk-tisk. I have been over this already. I have done it to myself a thousand times and I don't think it has any substantive good because above the noise of the should-have-beens lay the sweet reminder that independence in isolation from God is nothing better than Hell. Whatever independence is truly, I was in that experience reminded of how needy I really am.
God is not mocked, He is not unable to vindicate. He will restore all losses. He upholds the head of the offended.
Miss-led regret is but a cowardice companion that desires to have us. Do you think that God didn't see it all? Do you think he missed it? Its not like the storm doesn't come to the rock builder in just the same way it comes to the Sand-dwellers. Its not like God is incapable of planning good to emerge from evil intentions. God does all things well and He has made a promise to finish the good thing he started in us to the praise of His glorious grace.
